Online dating in and of itself can be a lot of fun and is gaining more and more popularity. Tinder is one of the most well-known (and slightly infamous) dating apps on the market. It does have the reputation of being used predominantly for hook-ups, however you can find a variety of men or women interested in something more serious and long-term. If you’re currently in a situation in which you aren’t looking for sex, but fun dates with the potential to lead to more, here’s what you should avoid:
- The Camouflage Hook-Up: After matching and talking for a while, you decide to take things to the next level and meet up face-to-face. When it comes to choosing a venue for your first date, he suggests watching a movie at his place (note: it doesn’t necessarily have to be a movie. It can be anything from that to having a drink, eating dinner, etc.). First of all, for your own safety I would always suggest you to have first dates in public, especially if you’ve met online. Secondly, 95% of the time he will be expecting this date to end with the dirty. If you’re not looking for sex, avoid these dates and save your time. (Tip: If you feel like you have a genuine connection and would get along well, just let him know that you only do first dates in public locations for your own safety. If he doesn’t compromise, he’s not worth the effort.)
- On/Off Texting: We all lead busy lives, but if his responses reach you every few days or weeks, chances are that actual dating is not his priority and isn’t seeking commitment. In fact, talking to multiple people in a non-serious fashion is more likely his game and he will only reach out to you if he’s looking for a new hook-up. There’s nothing wrong with that, but don’t meet this person and expect something deeper and more meaningful. Yes, it can happen and there’s always exceptions, but trust me with this one – you’ll wind up wasting your time. (Tip: If it takes someone two months to continue the conversation, ask yourself this: How interested are they? Would you let someone wait that long if you really wanted to meet them? Probably not. Slow back and forth conversations get boring really fast, focus more on meeting the guys that text back in a timely fashion.)
- Topless Pictures: Let’s be real – abs can be gorgeous to look at. From personal experience, those men are showing you what they’re offering – a sexy body for a sexy time. Usually if I match with someone who has even just one topless picture, he’s pretty straightforward about only looking for fun. And if he doesn’t tell me in messages beforehand, he does whenever we meet up (I am yet to find a half naked Tinder man who is looking for a relationship). So, if what you seek isn’t body to body contact – swipe left. (Tip: Think of Tinder pictures as a form of advertisement. Ads show you what you can get if you choose to engage – you want someone to engage in deep conversations and have the time of your life with? Don’t pick the man who is ‘advertising’ his half-naked body.)
These are just a few things to avoid if you’re taking the step to look for commitment and a serious relationship, so this guide doesn’t apply to the ladies that are looking for fun (which there’s nothing wrong with!). This post is just meant to help you save valuable time and avoid disappointing dates, coming from someone who has their fair share of Tinder experiences.